craigrussell

Technical blog from Craig Russell.

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Medium. We need to talk. šŸ’”

In the Beginning

When our relationship started, it was a breath of fresh air. I must admit, the first thing that attracted me was your looks. You had no ads. No clutter. You were neat and organized, and looking at a Medium article was a joyful experience.

But things are different now. I know itā€™s natural to let yourself go a bit over time, but you have to admit that youā€™ve went off the rails.

Visual clutter - view of the medium.com website with all its sign in overlays, paywall, native app installation banner, cookie policy

And it isnā€™t just the looks. It might have been the initial attraction, sure, but Iā€™m not that shallow.

OK, you always had your flaws; you couldnā€™t do everything people might want you to, but you were good at what you did do. You seemed so unapologetically confident in your offering, and in your own skin. I didnā€™t want to think of you as a controlling partner, per se, but letā€™s just agree that you like things how you like them. And if you think a post looks best one way, there was never room for argument; weā€™d lay the post out your way.

You didnā€™t need me. But from the moment I saw you, I needed you.

I dropped my ex-blog without any more thought; I didnā€™t even text goodbye šŸ‘‹

What Changed

Itā€™s foolish to go into a relationship with expectations that changes will come and make me happier. I know that. I took you as you were, and I liked it. I thought to myself:

You know what? This, this is a blogging platform I could grow old with šŸ‘“šŸ“

I didnā€™t want you to change. But you did. Maybe I was naive in thinking I could keep you as you were. In my heart, I knew youā€™d probably a change a little, but I didnā€™t realise what youā€™d eventually become.

Can we talk about the neediness? You used to just be content when we were together. But now youā€™re getting quite selective in what youā€™re letting me see. Now you want me to register. You want me to log in.

You want to control what Iā€™m reading and scold me when itā€™s not what you want me to read.

Itā€™s getting a bit creepy to be honest.

And that other thing you do - I donā€™t like it. You know the thing. The thing where you start telling me a story and then tell me youā€™ve already told me 3 stories this month, and you want paid to continue the story.

I think this is when it all started going downhill. I used to enjoy looking around and seeing posts. I would see a shared Medium link and happily click it, knowing I was about to have a nice time; the content usually great and always easy on the eye.

And then, like it always does, money reared its ugly green head. At first, it was subtle. Iā€™d sometimes stumble upon a premium article and that was OK. I think this period lasted a while.

But something changed. Again. Suddenly the premium articles were everywhere. I couldnā€™t look at Medium without a sea of little ā­ indicating the article was behind your paywall. I felt a bit betrayed.

I felt like you were always so open and honest with me and now here you are keeping secrets; keeping things from me and sharing them with others.

What started as a niggle became a real annoyance.

At first I wondered where the sea of paywalled articles were coming from. You couldnā€™t have magically convinced everyone to sign up overnight I thought. And then I realised what youā€™d been up to. You dirty little dog, youā€™ve been up to no good, havenā€™t you?

Youā€™ve been putting articles behind your paywall without the authors even realising it, havenā€™t you?

Obviously, doing it subtly. Subtle enough that the authors werenā€™t really sure what happened or why their readers were locked out. Maybe it was their own fault, I heard a few suggest. Maybe they clicked the wrong button somewhere.

But no, thatā€™s not the case at all. It was you. Too many times articles appeared behind the paywall to the surprise of authors.

So thereā€™s the neediness, the control issues, the begging, nagging and gaslighting. Itā€™s all got a bit much. I feel like a deliberate and sustained effort to wear me down and get money from me isnā€™t a healthy foundation for our relationship.

You created paradise, then started deliberately ruining it, all the while telling me I could make it stop. You were the poison and the cure.

Leaving on good terms

But letā€™s not leave each other on bad terms. We had some good times together, right? Sure you let yourself go and you got a bit less easy on the eyes. And you got a bit needy. And at times, a bit creepy. And I didnā€™t enjoy when you sabotaged our relationship and then asked for cash to fix it again. Thatā€™s pretty abusive. The dishonesty wasnā€™t good.

Maybe Iā€™d have felt more comfortable paying for Medium if it felt more like I was getting something in return and less like I was being extorted.

But the writing was probably always on the wall, and this shouldnā€™t really have surprised either of us. Being a publishing platform is a tough business, and you were always going to want things from me that I didnā€™t want to give you, and vice versa.

I was told by many people that I was foolish to be posting my content on Medium. You have to own your own content they would say. I didnā€™t want to hear it at the time. There are some things you canā€™t learn by hearing and have to learn by hurting.

And to be honest, if Iā€™m digging real deep down in the feelings sac, Iā€™m not even mad at you; Iā€™m mad at me. Mad at myself for thinking this could have ended differently.

Iā€™ve Met Someone Else

I know, I know, I should take a beat to have time to myself. I shouldnā€™t go rushing from one blogging platform to another. But I guess Iā€™m a serial mono-blogamist.

jealous boyfriend meme - looking longingly at static website generator while the jealous partner (Medium, in this case) looks angry.

Iā€™ve met someone else and his name is Hugo. Maybe itā€™s time for me to be in control of the relationship for a change.

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